back to the future

wow... its already been ages since i wrote here. many days, weeks have passed and it seems to have all gone in an eye shut. i think we need to reinvent time. i hereby start the 'lets-slow-down-time' club. feel free to join.

on another note...i have the disease of always thinking out loud. call it verbal diarrhea or extended self expression, its still a dis- ease. I am old enough today to perhaps honestly confess to have felt the extremes of most emotions. joy, pain, love, betrayal and satisfaction. they came and went and i always wondered how one would, if one could measure emotion. is my pain more or less than yours, is my joy more joyful that the others', am i less satisfied than i was yesterday or is this betrayal the worst i would ever face. i will never know i suppose. for even if i knew the answer in figures or graphs or what have you..there will never be enough words to capture its essence. that sharp tinge of feeling...whatever it may be...how does one describe it? and if i can never describe it, can i ever truly share it? we created language then script then gadgets then software... tool after tool to do just that and yet here we are, still struggling to encapsulate that which we feel. that ghost tug in the middle of the chest, the invisible weight on our shoulders or that heady thrill rushing up our spines.

i cant seem to pin down where that came from exactly but perhaps its an amalgamation of my constant brush with art at the RCA. The popular theme of communicating emotion always strikes a chord. this desperation to design products and experiences that reach out to people, connect and hopefully make a difference... what about the human to human interaction. what about the pain and joy that causes in itself? is that learning not part of education for all anymore? in this generation of what a cynical part of me calls a self obsessed delirium, are we not getting further and further apart no matter how many more communication devices we create? i own a phone, a laptop with internet, a landline, four email addresses, two websites and write a blog!! i know it may sound like overkill to some of you but its funny how it may not to some others! its normal to be connected yet live absolutely alone! its almost normal now to have been in five or more relationships by age 30! its okay to travel all over the globe and yet see your own grandparents only on christmas! sometimes i wonder where we're headed. dont get me wrong, im not on any high horse looking down on fellow mankind.. i'm merely paranoid momentarily about my own old age, whenever it will come... will i have been put away on another planet with communication gadgets plugged into me so i can be remotely monitored while i browse through 54,678 tv channels and simultaneously update my status on 893 communication pages???